What has a start must have an end

17 07 2008

So it has come to this, and samsing must end. Why? Because Another Sam Chan has risen! Everything has been transferred over there now so continue your spam there. And if you like what I’m doing, feel free to pay my bills by clicking an ad every once in a while, much appreciated. One love, yall.

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Secrets to Blogging

9 07 2008

Somebody loved their Timmy\'s enough to take a picture. Have you ever had a hot beverage on a hot day outside? It seems like a bizarre thing to do and an even more bizarre thing to ask, but believe it or not, I do see quite a few people holding their daily starbucks fill regardless of the weather. This got me curious. If they wanted caffeine, there were a million other choices starting with coke, pepsi, and redbull; if they wanted the taste of coffee, Starbucks offers iced versions of practically anything they wanted and more (pomegranate frap? gross.) Intrigued by this strange ritual, I looked up at the sun today and decided I would try it as well.

So I went to Starbucks’ Canadian brother from a different mother – Tim Hortons and ordered a large hot Joe. Before I do share the results, let me first clarify that coffee, regardless of the brand, usually has no effect on me whatsoever (This does not apply to expresso shots, those are legal drugs, I swear). In fact, sometimes I drink coffee just to give off the impression that I’m at least making an effort to try to stay awake. But as the sun scortched down on my typical Asian black-yet-actually-brown-in-the-sunlight hair and the hot beverage touched my lips and down my throat; it was as if the stars aligned and I felt like I was right next to the Philly Cheese lady playing the cello to accompany her harp.

Okay, not exactly. But, maybe just as miraculously, the hot coffee made no effect on my temperature whatsoever. I never expected it to make me cooler by any means, but the fact it didn’t make me hotter was quite amusing to me. In fact, the brown liquid which never had an effect on me before seemed to actually work for a change and made me more awake, more alive, more … wordy and ready to blog.

I think I have figured it out. For all those power bloggers out there who are more successful than I, this is what they do. THEY are all the ones I see walking around with a hot drink and 2 cups to hold it in on a 30 degree day. They find a nice hot place; be it a sauna or the equator, and rehydrate themselves with a hot cup of coffee. After the potion starts working, inspiration comes to them and the words put themselves together from that point.

Lucky for me, now that I have found out how the magic potion works (remember, only under hot weather) and along with my other superpower (Morgan Freeman verbally narrates my life in my head and even pauses in case I want to write something down) I should be unstoppable. Now, since my superpower can’t be passed on, I figured I would at least let all you other amateur bloggers know about the potion. I’m not a selfish guy, there’s enough blogging for us all. Let the great blogs begin.





Merry Christmas in June

27 06 2008

Maybe it is because I am of the male gender, but cards have always confused me. I’m not talking about trading cards, because those things I’ve always understood, but greeting cards, birthday cards, get well cards, Christmas, Hanukkah or whatever floats your boat around December cards. There are two types of cards that are given to me. Those who give me generic cards with their John Hancock at the bottom and those who care about me enough to give me a personalized message wishing me general wellness. (is wellness even a word? Oh my, look how these cards have gotten to me). Regardless of the message though, it is a friendly gesture given by those to care enough to go out to Hallmark or the Dollar Store to buy me a card, open it up, write my name spelt correctly, sign their own name, and slap it in an envelope to give to me. For this, I oughta be grateful. But what in the world am I supposed to do with it? I’ve seen many houses where they like to put cards all over their furniture, on the wall, on top of their tv, in their bedroom – heck my own family does that. However, I cannot make sense of the fact that I have Christmas cards chock full of dust (because we all know I haven’t read it since December 25th of the previous year) sitting on my counter in June. Who brags about the get well cards they got when they were bedridden for 3 months due to a spout of mono back in the summer of 2003? We don’t. I’ve never discussed this with anyone but there is an unsaid custom for us to throw away cards after a certain amount of time. Well, apparently nobody passed the memo to me because I still have a huge birthday card from my pre-hormone days that’s inhabited more than a few spiders sitting behind my closet. I cannot bear to throw cards away because they are what they are – a nice gesture. And what of those who nicely decorated my envelopes? The extra curvy S, the fancy colors and random pictures in orange, I mean the least I could do is keep them.

For all those who have been thinking in their heads what a self-centered prick I am, here’s where I try to win you back. I actually feel so bad that I refuse to throw away the cards I receive. Yes, I even keep the envelopes. So what do I do with them? I shove them in random places, such as books, shoe boxes, 3 pack dvds, sock drawers, etc. But the lack of space has added to poor ventilation in my room and will eventually lead to an unexplained death so I have decided on this outcome. I see there are many holidays coming up such as Thanksgiving, Halloween, my Birthday, and Christmas (yes in that order). Instead of giving me a card, I resolve that we try and solve global warming a little instead by planting a tree in my backyard each time you feel impelled either by my friendship or rugged good looks. If I ever become so popular that I run out of room(I’m not holding my breath), I’ll go and ask the kind sir next door if I can use his backyard; I don’t think he minds. It’s not that I don’t appreciate it, because I definitely do, it’s because I still have your card from 2 years ago and am still appreciating that.

on a side note, my girlfriend doesn’t find cards a dilemma at all and absolutely adores them actually, so please don’t mistake my confusion with hers and continue to send her cards a plenty.





In movies

19 06 2008

In movies, there’s always a main character. Well, I shouldn’t say always, but those movies without a specific main character usually suck so I disregarded those in my statement. I’ve noticed that there’s always the same movie flow.

Phase 0

A – MC has been doing well with his/her life so far, experiencing success without having to undergo hardship in the past.
or
B – MC life sucks.

Phase 1:
Something (such as a spider) or someone (usually somebody hot, or a dumb kid) alters MC’s life.

Phase 2:
As a result of Phase 1, MC has new previously unforeseen goals and changes attitude.

Phase 2b:
MC undergoes hardship to meet those goals but always peserveres and breaks through.

Phase 3:
MC is met with waves of success and briefly feels like the top of the world until

Phase 4:
A: something from the MC’s past comes back to haunt him/her
or
B: A trap is set by the antagonist
which results in
the MC falling into a deeper hole than ever before seen.

Phase 5:
the MC crawls out of the hole, battered, bruised, but rises higher than ever and takes over their world.

Phase 6:
A: MC wins/lives happily ever after, with ever after being the last 30 seconds of the film
or
B: dies with pride, thus effectively ending the film (anybody seen crank?)

What I want to emphasize on is Phase 2B, the part where the MC works hard, peserveres and gets rewarded for it. The reason it is 2B and not 3, is because it is always a few short cut scenes, where they show that “whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. You see it in Legally Blonde with Elle and her books, you see it in Mighty Ducks when the guys finally start to play as a team, and you see it in Coach Carter when the guys run lap after lap after lap, followed by 1000 pushups.  Like many other movie watchers, I always put myself into character when I watch movies and I see how they succeed…and think I can do the same thing. However, for the most of us, the majority of our lives are those few short scenes where we have to work hard and peservere. The MC always makes it look so easy, so smooth, so natural, where in reality, its a grusome struggle. Sure makes me wonder if happily ever after is worth it, or is that a fantasy too?





Hockey ampersand Hearts

7 04 2008

A hockey stick thrusts through my heart, word to Chris Simon Roberto Luongo just hasn’t been good enough. I have to agree with Alain VIgneault. Our best player needs to play his best and that’s the only way the Canucks will ever get anywhere. Now that the season is officially over, let’s take a look at his stats.


0 goals
in 73 games? Vancouver’s best player? Are we freaking kidding? That’s worse than Alexandre Diagle and Steve McCarthy! Okay, maybe not Alexandre Diagle who’s moved on to greener pastures. Oh wait, Luongo’s a goalie, he gets paid to stop goals, not score them. Silly me. Wait, somebody explain something to me. Has anybody ever won a hockey game by stopping goals? Has anybody ever made the playoffs by stopping goals? As Mr. Woodcock would say:

Rhetorical

I’m not a hockey player by any means (google: asian, small, and protective parents as child) but I find myself always relating hockey (and most sports really) to life. I fully understand (or so I think) the concept behind putting a defense first system in a game. The idea is that when you have solidified your own end, no matter who you are playing against, you are in control because they have come into your house. It is a very logical concept and is used by many people in many different formations. There’s only one problem with this conservative method, its a vote of non confidence in your team. By choosing to defend first, you are electing to let the other team attack you. Even metal thins after you bang on it with a hammer. This is not a case of iron sharpening iron, it is a case of rubber puck versus human wall. Eventually, the wall will break. In choosing to attack first, you must be so confident in your attack that the other team has to run back and literally have no time to even THINK about touching your house. In the same way, many people spend their lives defense first. They buy backup after backup, you know, in case stuff. Why buy a 5 pack of pencils? In case the first 4 break. Why buy vitamins? In case you get sick. Take chances, attack, score goals, its the only way you’ll win because otherwise, the best case scenario if you have a freak like Luongo to protect your house is 0-0. But even Luongo needs to take a break sometimes.

On a somewhat similar (lies, the only thing similar is the stupid hockey theme) topic, The after hours on the radio after the Edmonton/Vancouver game talked about a pretty interesting topic: Where does heart (in a hockey team, for those that don’t watch hockey and have been lost throughout this entire rant) come from? Both broadcasters seem to agree that it comes from leadership. When the leader pours his heart and passion out, the rest of the team follows. When the only guy without pads on who pours his heart and soul out is Alex Burrows, you’ve got a problem. Let me just say I love Markus Naslund. (not in a I want to bed him way). He’s a complete (cliche coming…wait for it) class act on and off the ice and the type of guy I’d want my kids (or somebody I don’t hate’s kids) to look up to. You’ll never catch him spearing or spitting on somebody. In fact, you can’t even catch him blaming Steve Moore for his injury all those years ago…which ultimately led to the demise of Todd Bertuzzi and Vancouver’s best chance at a championship since 1994. However, does he have heart? You take a look at the the difference between Naslund’s interview and Luongo’s interview after the Edmonton game. Luongo was holding back tears, throwing out frustration, anger, sarcasm and was generally a nasty guy to talk to. Naslund looked glummy and threw out the “we have to blame ourselves, we’re really disappointed, blah blah blah” Newspapers will jump all over this and continue to say that Naslund has no heart, check out Luongo in tears, etc. etc. etc. While its no doubt that Luongo cared so much to be in tears, does having heart give you the right to be a jerk? Does being polite and throwing out “disappointment” cliches mean you don’t care? While I don’t mean to defend Naslund, it’s pathetic that you have to be pissed off and tear up to show you give a damn.

Considering I have a considerable amount of papers left to right, it makes no sense that I spend an hour’s worth writing 700+ words on here. However, without crying, swearing, or giving you attitude, the time spent should show you how much I care about this blog, knowing full well that since university students are on the brisk of exams, procrastination is on full bloom and I will take advantage of that in order to gain more views and achieve world domination. Later, gators.

‘Kickin out,

Sam

PS -Derrick Rose is going to take the Tigers to the championship on Monday.





The first post and already full of trash

19 03 2008

It’s funny because I’ve put off putting my first post for more than a week. I haven’t forgotten about it, or was too lazy or what not. The fact of the matter is that when you click on my site, its quite clean and free of trash. I didn’t want to screw it up by posting. I do the same thing with exam papers. But as I sit here staring at my blank page, I realize that nobody will read this anyways so why not ‘screw it up’. Regardless of what I type or not type, its my mess anyways and besides you, nobody will read it. Anyways, lets have a moment of silence for a once clean blog.

So, its elections week at the U, and I want to talk about how ridiculous the trash has been. I’ve never been into politics, and generally would like to keep it out of this blog, but I’m not ignorant enough to think that’s possible. The big debate this week is whether or not our jail of a university should separate ourselves from the pack by leaving the big national federation. I’m not going to get who I voted for or who you should vote for, that’s your own damn business and I honestly could care less. The trash I’m talking about is just that. Flyers, EVERYWHERE. In the classrooms, on the walls, in the toilets, on the ground. Every corner I turn, there’s a happy go-lucky smiling dude or dudette giving me some flyer about how much money the fed is wasting or how to vote yes. I voted early to avoid all this junk! I’m all for standing in what you believe in but this is overkill. By the time this mess is cleared up, nobody’s going to want to come to school period regardless of who wins the fight. The NO side talks about how much money we would save (insert something with 6 digits) if we left; I wonder how much money we would save if we didn’t have this thing. Now haters will probably be raving and telling me how this is the real world and I should learn to live in it. They will argue that those guys are doing the right thing, getting you informed as a student, and that I should stop whining and make the right choices. Oh well, there’s the x button (top right for windows, red button on top left for macs) hit it, don’t let your computer freeze on the way out. This is my blog, where I will rant about my pointless antics without having a 3rd world war about it. If you don’t like what I’m saying, let me just tell you that I already told you this post was going to be full of trash at the beginning. Although, since nobody reads this, I shouldn’t have any haters. hmm….

and my last and only reader just left the building…

seems like a good start to the blog!

Kickin out,
Sam