Secrets to Blogging

9 07 2008

Somebody loved their Timmy\'s enough to take a picture. Have you ever had a hot beverage on a hot day outside? It seems like a bizarre thing to do and an even more bizarre thing to ask, but believe it or not, I do see quite a few people holding their daily starbucks fill regardless of the weather. This got me curious. If they wanted caffeine, there were a million other choices starting with coke, pepsi, and redbull; if they wanted the taste of coffee, Starbucks offers iced versions of practically anything they wanted and more (pomegranate frap? gross.) Intrigued by this strange ritual, I looked up at the sun today and decided I would try it as well.

So I went to Starbucks’ Canadian brother from a different mother – Tim Hortons and ordered a large hot Joe. Before I do share the results, let me first clarify that coffee, regardless of the brand, usually has no effect on me whatsoever (This does not apply to expresso shots, those are legal drugs, I swear). In fact, sometimes I drink coffee just to give off the impression that I’m at least making an effort to try to stay awake. But as the sun scortched down on my typical Asian black-yet-actually-brown-in-the-sunlight hair and the hot beverage touched my lips and down my throat; it was as if the stars aligned and I felt like I was right next to the Philly Cheese lady playing the cello to accompany her harp.

Okay, not exactly. But, maybe just as miraculously, the hot coffee made no effect on my temperature whatsoever. I never expected it to make me cooler by any means, but the fact it didn’t make me hotter was quite amusing to me. In fact, the brown liquid which never had an effect on me before seemed to actually work for a change and made me more awake, more alive, more … wordy and ready to blog.

I think I have figured it out. For all those power bloggers out there who are more successful than I, this is what they do. THEY are all the ones I see walking around with a hot drink and 2 cups to hold it in on a 30 degree day. They find a nice hot place; be it a sauna or the equator, and rehydrate themselves with a hot cup of coffee. After the potion starts working, inspiration comes to them and the words put themselves together from that point.

Lucky for me, now that I have found out how the magic potion works (remember, only under hot weather) and along with my other superpower (Morgan Freeman verbally narrates my life in my head and even pauses in case I want to write something down) I should be unstoppable. Now, since my superpower can’t be passed on, I figured I would at least let all you other amateur bloggers know about the potion. I’m not a selfish guy, there’s enough blogging for us all. Let the great blogs begin.